An homage to my diasporic mind

تكريم لعقلي المشتت / un hommage à mon esprit diasporique

البداية / the beginning / le début 

(pondering four letter words)

B o r n and living 
where? I do
not know what
integration means

My blood traces 
back to a dystopia
with war and misery
check and
never ending points 

Wherever I touch
becomes home-
I am allowed
to be rooted
where 
I f e e l alright

What about t i m e?
will I ever be calm
with my b o d y?
will I e v e r be p a r t
of one place?

I have written 
about home
for as long
as I lived 
for as long
as I have been
everywhere

H o m e is 
unavoidable 
I do not
h a v e it

I cannot see home
there are no synonyms
I do not know how
to describe my l a n d

My words are
coping mechanisms
for not being from 
one earth

I lingered on one w o r d 
for d a y s on end

Distorted ideas 
of home
is what I know

This is the way
I begin and I end.

حياتي / my life / ma vie

(living because of love)

I am myself nurtured
in the icy mountains
dripping with maple 
on slippery slopes
with flakes falling on my hair 

I exist through the desert
where the scorching sun 
tends to me gently 
and brushes my skin
with sunlight and sand 

I held it all in and
clipped the keys 
where I can never lose
anything from home.

النهاية / the end / la fin

(time traveling & daydreaming)

In a 40s picture
with the upbeat melody
the grass on me
concrete supporting me
up and down they walk

I don’t see but what’s up in the sky
no clouds in the framed memory
a thunderstorm keeps
mustering up the courage to roar
the tornado is spiraling into silence
almost-icy breeze on my face
with my ears protected 
from the pushed back sounds

I open my mouth
it is empty

But I am full and meant to be here.

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